Keep Moving Forward

This is so darn timely for what is going on right now in my life with the kidney stone surgery/procedure and everything else.  It gave me inspiration to look at me and be strong.  This post was originally posted on April 23, 2007 a few days after I quit my last job.  I was in really bad shape back then and it felt good to reflect back as to how far I have actually come since then.

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I'm not a quitter, but I just had to quit my job after 5 1/2 years. Way too much stress for me to deal with to stay there any longer. Talk about instant relief when I decided that last week. I went into work today and handed the lady in HR my badge and my doctor notes showing I was really off for medical reasons last week (doc was worried and insisted I took time off). She looked at me like "What is going on." I only said, "You were a witness to the conversation between [no names mentioned] and me and she said for me to think about what I need to do and I've decided what I need to do."
I went to Arizona with my parents and while we were there, mom and I went to see "Meet the Robinsons" - the newest Disney cartoon. I got a little annoyed, probably because I was waiting for the line that I had heard from it which was "Keep Moving Forward" from my dad who had seen it with my sister and her kids. I felt ridiculous at age 30 walking into a cartoon movie with my mother who is 62, but it was worth seeing it just for the line and ultimately the theme of the entire movie. Bottom line of the movie is whatever Louis did, failed. A guy from the future appeared and throughout the movie kept saying to Louis "As my dad, Cornelius Robinson says, 'Keep Moving Forward' because you will never learn from your successes, only your failures." There was a twist to it, but I can't share what it is -- you will just have to see it. It is definitely worth sitting through it to see the ending.

A friend, Kami, sent me an email today and told me that the low feelings are conquered by sharing what God is doing in my life.... and just like a sermon I heard on Psalm 13 by Pastor Pete, she's right....

The theme of the movie sat very well with me -- keep moving forward. I can't help but think of Paul in Philippians 3.... verses 12-14 say "Not that I have already obtained all this, or have already been made perfect, but I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me. 13Brothers, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, 14I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus." Funny thing is that it isn't even 4 hours since I turned my stuff into my former job and I'm not even looking back. And I won't. I won't shed another tear, even though deep down at times I feel like I have wasted the past 10 months of my life.... I should have quit 10 months ago rather than transferred departments. But no more tears. Really. I have no reason to because I know God has a better job for me. Something that is far beyond anything I can comprehend. Yeah, just like Cornelius Robinson says, "Keep Moving Forward".

I talked to another friend yesterday and she was saying how in the past few months I have made a lot of huge decisions and she has seen a transformation -- before, she said that I would burst into tears and feel totally hopeless and feel that nothing is going to improve the situation at hand. But now, I make decisions and I'm confident in the decisions and how proud she is of me for changing and being so confident. We both started crying. Geez Sara, my eyes are welling up with tears still Thanks a lot. ha ha But you know ? It's true.

And the horrible depression I have dealt with? I think of Paul. He says in 2 Corinthians 12 ==> "...there was given me a thorn in my flesh, a messenger of Satan, to torment me. 8Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it away from me. 9But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me." That is an amazing truth to ponder.

Trials (Reposted)

This is a re-post of a re-post.  :) 


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Trials.. of many kinds

This was originally posted on my Xanga site on April 10, 2007 :)

This morning I was reminded of a verse I used to keep in the front of my mind the majority of the time (thanks Dale ... and Shawna ... for keeping my mind focused on the right things). But, it has quickly become something in the back of my mind for some reason.

James 1:2-4 says "2Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, 3because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. 4Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything."
I am going through some trials right now... none I can mention on here because this world is so small I don't want anyone to hear that these are regarding. I mean, other than the obvious physical trials of a major surgery. BUT knowing these tests I'm going through are actually strengthening me, encourages me and actually makes me happy I am going through these trials. In the midst of my trials, I'm finding ways to encourage other people and look beyond myself right now, which is something I am definitely not used to. I would have never sent someone an email AND called them letting them know I'm praying for them and that I know what they are going through... even if I really did and wasn't simply piling on the Christian-ese "I'll pray for ya man". But, two weeks ago I did exactly that.... a teen at church had her gall bladder removed and I had a sense of urgency to email and call her parents to let them know they can call me if they didn't want to call the doctor or whatever. I had the privilege of meeting her parents AND her on Good Friday after the second service. It was really cool. I guess this leads me to the other thought I had for a few days...

On Easter, my mom sat next to this lady who I've seen but haven't ever really talked to. As they were leaving, the lady went to my mom and said, "I want to make sure you know that we ALL adore your daughter here." That knocked the wind out of me. I didn't get how someone I haven't ever really talked to could say that, but as mom pointed out -- I obviously am carrying myself quite a bit differently than before and people are noticing. Perhaps not the people I REALLY want to say stuff are saying it (ie., single Christian males), but it was liberating to hear. Maybe they are noticing, feel the same way but aren't saying anything to anyone... hmm. Now there's a concept I hadn't ever thought about... but I won't dwell on it.